The Balloon Factory
by VisualZero
Summary: Ryuuga gathers the Battle Bladers to take out the Teams from the World Championships who have been taken over by an evil force! In the end, it's up to Hikaru, Kyoya, Teru, Bao, Nile and a couple of other random idiots to save the day from the dreaded BALLOON FACTORY!


**I thought you guys might miss your monthly dose of bullcrap so wahay another plotless story that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever... Now, with added Bao x Teru! =D**

**SOMEWHERE IN AN UNDERGROUND BUNKER**

'Why are we here? Why does this keep happening?' Gingka asked, glancing around at the numerous other bladers who sat scattered around in small groups. On deck chairs.

'What ho, peasants!'

'It's like I can feel my sanity slipping away with every second...' Hikaru muttered as Ryuuga walked in looking pretty damn authoritative in a Batman costume.

'I have gathered you all here today based on your collective skill of earning OVER 50,000 BEY POINTS during the Battle Bladers tournament.' As the Dragon-wielding blader rolled his gaze around the room the smirk seemed to slide off his face when he came to a certain mechanic.

'Bitch, I don't think so.'

'Well, you said you wanted the casts of Battle Bladers! I was totally there in spirit the whole way!'

'YOU DON'T BRING A CUCUMBER TO A GIANT TOMATO COMPETITION MADOKA! LET IT GO AND JUST ADMIT YOU HAVE NOTHING WORTHWHILE TO OFFER ANYONE AROUND YOU!'

'I'd be more upset if the guy degrading me didn't play with spinning tops for a living.' Madoka sighed. 'By the way, that costume is tacky-'

'ANYWAY, aside from the EYESORE-' Ryuuga glanced at Madoka who gave him the finger '-I needed to gather the most powerful bladers in all of Japan in order to stop an evil organisation from taking over the world, blah blah blah, I will explain the rest by song.' Ryuuga snapped his fingers and the lights dimmed as he began to get into his 'artistic' zone.

'Why just Japanese bladers? What about the others?' Hikaru asked, leaning over to whisper to Gingka, who shook his head.

Ryuuga's Song (to the tune of The Wheels on The Bus)

BLADERS OF JAPAN GATHER ROUND AND ROUND

ROUND AND ROUND ROUND AND ROUND

BLADERS OF JAPAN GATHER ROUND AND ROUND-

'Well at least he's branching out from Destroying the World and Laughing Maniacally...' Hikaru whispered.

'And never getting laid...' Hyoma muttered

SHUT UP HYOMA YOU FUCK SHEEP! NOW, WHERE WAS I? OH YES

THE WORLD IS IN A DEEP CRISIS DEEP CRISIS DEEP CRISIS

THE WORLD IS IN A DEEP CRISIS AND I NEED ALL YOUR HELP

ALL THE BLADERS FROM THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS

ALL THE BLADERS FROM THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS

HAVE BEEN TAKEN OVER BY AN EVIL FORCE

'Bored already...' Kyoya yawned, kicking the back of Ryutaro' chair for good measure, invoking a death glare from the fan-wielding blader.

THIS EVIL FORCE IS REALLY BAD REALLY BAD REALLY BAD

THIS EVIL FORCE IS REALLY BAD-

'OH MY GOD GET ON WITH IT!' Hikaru yelled, supported by groans from the others.

'Fine!' Ryuga stopped his 'song'. 'Basically all the bladers from the world championships have all turned evil. Don't know why, don't care. Ordinarily I wouldn't even do anything about it. Buuut I just found out that they're planning to destroy the world and that would be kind of a pain. THAT'S MY JOB! So I need you guys to help me stop them.'

'Your answer to the end of the world is spinning tops?' Tobio asked.

'What was I gonna do? Call the Goddamn Bakugan Battle Brawlers? Now! Listen up! Like all good missions, we need codenames! Mostly because I can't be assed to remember your actual names.' Ryuga began walking past everyone tapping them on the head as he christianed them with codenames.

He started with Hikaru. 'Letsee... I like you, I think I'll call you Foxy.'

'O. K.' Hikaru blinked.

'You'll be Simba.' He pointed at Kyoya, who scoffed. 'Original...'

'You're fatass(This provoked a 'HEY!' from Benkei), you're Dolly (Hyoma: let me guess, after the sheep?), you're... Russian guy (Kumasuke: Da?), you're Afropop (Tobio: Whatever), you're Goldilocks (Teru: I'm a boy?), you're Pocohantas (Tsubasa: Really?), you're... small green-haired child (Kenta: Awh man...), you're crabby guy (Tetsuya: Crabby...), you guys are Thing One and Thing Two (Dan&Reiki: Great...)...' He got to Ryutaro.

'Damn, you're kind of flamboyant and I like that. You'll be Mercutio.'

'Okay?'

'What am I? What am I?' Yuu asked excitedly, bouncing up and down.

'Annoying.'

'MEANIE!'

'So now that that's sorted out I can assign shit-'

'Wait, so don't I get a codename?' Madoka asked.

'Do you really care?' Tsubasa raised an eyebrow.

'Of course I care! It creates an atmosphere of team spirit! I wanna be part of that!'

'No it doesn't.' Hyoma scoffed.

'Shut up, Dolly!' Kyoya snapped, punching Ryutaro again.

'DO THAT ONE MORE TIME AND I SWEAR TO GOD-'

'IF YOU WERE REALLY PSYCHIC YOU'D SEE IT COMING! ADMIT TO THE METH, YOU STONED TRANNIE!'

'Hey, y'know we think we should have different codenames. Thing One and Thing Two are too similar! Everyone always assumes Dan and I are completely alike but we're different people!' Reiki frowned.

'Yeah! I mean, I love Hawaiian pizza but Reiki prefers Pepperoni.'

'Yeah! Actually, I kind of like Hwaiian pizza too. But I love Alt rock and Dan prefers Indie.'

'Either's good with me, really. Uh... I love House?'

'Me too! Favourite show ever!... I hate Miyavi?'

'Can't stand the fucker... I don't really like Finding Nemo?'

A collective gasp filled the room.

'How can you not like Finding Nemo? It's like the cutest movie ever!' Teru asked, shocked.

'Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...' Yuu sang.

Dan looked at Reiki, like he was seeing him for the first time. 'You are DEAD to me, brother!'

'Guys, come on, we'll never accomplish anything if we all fight!' Gingka said.

'BE QUIET GINGKA THAT BASTARD DOESN'T LIKE FINDING NEMO THIS IS A LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION HERE!' Kyoya growled.

'It's about TALKING FISH! How can you not like talking fish?' Hyoma asked.

'I think it's implausible?' Reiki offered sheepishly.

Meanwhile, Ryuga looked like he had just had a eureka moment.

'I have decided!' He pointed to Madoka. 'That your codename will be... FAILDOKA! AHAHAHA...'

'Fuck my life...' Madoka sighed, as people continued to throw things at Reiki for being a dry shit.

**A BIT LATER**

'Okay, I've separated you all into groups based on competancy. Each team will have one shit member, one moderate and one potential. Your mission - go to the country I assign you and KILL all members of that team.' Ryuga explained, as the teams of three stood before him.

'I thought I would have been the one with potential.' Hikaru frowed, looking at her teammates, Kyoya and Teru.

'You are. Kyoya's the moderate. He COULD kill someone but he would not be stealthy about it.' Ryuga explained.

'How do you know I'm not the expert?' Teru asked.

'I kill kittens.' Hikaru deadpanned.

'HOW COULD YOU DO THAT HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF-'

Team Gingka Tsubasa and Yuu!

'Alright! This is just like old times! So we're going after Excalibur? Awesome!' Gingka grinned, as the threesome approached Julius' mansion.

'Gingka. Tsubasa. Yuu. What a surprise.' Julius greeted the three at the door, followed by Sophie and Wales.

'Ahh, c'est un bon suprise!~' Sophie smiled, dragging the three of them into a hug.

'What are you guys doing here?' Wales asked.

'Oh, nothing important. Ryuga's got some crazy idea that you guys are evil and you're trying to destroy the world or something like that and we're sent here to try and kill you. So what's new?' Gingka explained.

'Subtle.' Tsubasa sighed.

'Ryuga thinks we're evil?' Julius asked, as Sophie threw back her head and laughed.

'My! Eh bien... if Ryuga thinks we're evil... he thought right.' Sophie's grin darkened, her iris' turning to red.

Tsubasa and Yuu looked anxiously at each other as Julius' and Wales' did the same thing.

Suddenly, everything went black...

**TEAM RYUTARO, TOBIO, DAN AND REIKI**

'Can't believe you don't like Finding Nemo...' Dan muttered, as the four wandered through the streets of New York.

'Let it go, Dan! It's not like I don't like puppies!'

'I found the movie captivating,' Ryutaro mused. 'Gil in particular...'

'Can we concentrate on our mission here?' Tobio asked. 'Locate and decimate Team Dungeon.'

They came to a stop outside Dungeon Gym.

'There is a 90% chance this is the place.' Ryutaro said.

'Woah, visitors.' Coach Steel gretted the four with an odd look.

'Hey, Masamune! Some of your Japanese friends are here!'

'I don't think we've ever met.' Masamune stared at them.

'We met in the movie, not in the canon.' Ryutaro explained.

'Oh, cool. So, why are you guys here anyway?' Masamune asked, as Zeo and Toby joined them.

'Oh, we just wanted to have a friendly Beybattle.' Ryutaro winked rather obviously at Tobio, who punched him.

'Sure, okay. Uh, first thing's first. You guys weren't with the DarkNebula, were you? 'Cause we'd prefer if we preformed a full body scan first, just to make sure.' Zeo said.

'Crap!' Tobio thought. 'If they frisk me they'll find all my handguns. And those kunai Ryutaro straps to his thighs...'

'Uhh, sure. Hey, uhh... you mind if we use the bathroom first? It was a long trip so...' Tobio asked.

'That doesn't seem like a suspicious way to hide all of your weapons! Go ahead!' Toby showed them the way.

IN THE BATHROOM

'Good grief, you're paranoid.' Ryutaro said, staring at Tobio's massive collection of handguns, rifles, grenades, bombs and fireworks.'

'This is the MEN'S bathroom, Ryutaro!'

'Hahaha, mandatory tranny slur. Okay, I hid my kunai in the toilet but I don't now what to do about the Dark Nebula tattoo on my left buttcheek. Are we actually going to kill them?'

'Maybe not kill them. Maybe just maim them fatally. Their screams of agony will be more appealing than walking over their lifeless bodies.' Tobio explained.

'You have issues.'

'Whatever. Dan quit making Reiki drink toilet water, we've got work to do!'

Dan allowed his brother, whose face had turned blue, up for air. 'ADMIT YOU LIKE FINDING NEMO!'

**BACK WITH TEAM DUNGEON WHOSE GYM HAS SUDDENLY BEEN TRANSFORMED INTO A SATANIC RITUAL LAIR**

'Does anything look different to you guys?' Ryutaro asked, glancing around at all the chandeleirs, coffins, pentagrams and gothic style furniture.

'That chair there wasn't always blue.' Tobio pointed at a recliner.

'Hey guys.' Team Dungeon met them clad head to toe in black, while sharpening knives.

'Yeah, so we're gonna prepare you to be sacrificed to our Master now.' Toby explained, as Ryutaro, Tobio, Dand and Reiki were strapped against the wall.

'Prepare to meet your doom,' Zeo grinned. 'Prepare to be sent to the... BALLOON FACTORY!'

MEANWHILE IN RUSSIA WITH MADOKA BENKEI AND KENTA

'Let us go you creeps!' Kenta yelled, as he and Benkei struggled furiously against Lera and Nowaguma's grips.

'Aleksi... how could you...?' Madoka looked at the boy she once loved in disgust.

'I'm sorry, Madoka. The Balloon Factory isn't powered by magic...' Aleksi sighed, as the drug finally kicked in to knock them all unconscious.

Team Russia stared the the three unconscious bladers.

Aleksi paused. 'Can I have Madoka's body for a bit first or is that creepy?'

**THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE**

'So... this is Africa...' Hyoma said unimpressed, as he, Tetsuya, Reiji and Kumasake looked anxiously around.

'Yup. At least Nile's origin is obvious. I could be anything.' Demure sighed. 'I don't know where I'm from. I don't even know if I'm a man or a woman!'

Hyoma ignored this. 'So, don't suppose you guys know what the hell is going on?'

'Oh yeah, apparently the other teams are acting pretty strange. Y'know, mutilation, satanic rituals and shit like that. It' all crazy.' Nile explained. 'And something about a Balloon Factory.'

'Why aren't you guys affected?' Hyoma asked.

'Well, I once heard that this specific possession coldn't affect those who are truly in love with another person.' Demure said, as everyone looked at Nile.

'WHAT? FOR GOD'S SAKE I DON'T LOVE KYOYA!'

'I don't really know why I'm not affected.' Demure confessed. 'But anyway, if your friends have managed to track down the other teams you should warn them about this. They might die and stuff.'

'Not that I care but... where'd Kyoya go? NOT THAT I CARE!' Nile said.

'He, Hikaru and Teru went to China... Damn, if only there was some means of contacting them!' Hyoma exclaimed.

Nile handed over his cellphone.

'Oh hey, I forgot these existed.' He began to dial Hikaru's cell.

**IN CHINA**

'Good to see communism is alive and well.' Kyoya said, as he, Teru and Hikaru watched some guy being dragged past them screaming 'I JUST WANTED TO WATCH BACK TO THE FUTUUUUREEE!'

Hikaru felt her cellphone ring.

'Hyoma? Is that you?'

'Hikaru! Listen! ... danger... wang hu zhong... ryuga!'

'Okay, I can't hear a word you're saying, WHAT?' The connection broke.

'What was it?' Teru asked, as she put her cell away.

'I'm sure it was nothing important. Well, let's go track down Wang Hu Zhong and bitch about Ryuuga's ridiculous theory.'

'I hate China.' Kyoya decided.

'You hate everything.' Hikaru sighed. 'Come on guys.'

**DUN DUN DUUUNNNN**

**...Think I'm loosing my humour touch. Oh well, I'll get back into the swing of things next chapter.**

**WHAT HAPPENS WITH TEAM WANG HU ZHONG?**

**WILL THE SEXUAL TENSION BETWEEN KYOYA AND NILE BE SORTED OUT?**

**WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE OTHER TEAMS?**

**WILL REIKI EVER LIKE FINDING NEMO?**

**AND WHAT IS THE BALLOON FACTORY?**


End file.
